"My husband cheated. My once-perfect marriage is on the rocks – I'm even thinking about getting a divorce. even possible to save my marriage? "
The discovery and shock of your cheating husband and troubled marriage can make you feel desperate and alone. But please do not beat yourself up! Your experience is not uncommon. Sadly, relationship issues plague many troubled marriages – and long before sexual affairs come into play. Infidelity is usually no more than a culmination of several underlining marital problems gone unaddressed in the husband-wife relationship.
Saving your marriage starts by ignoring relationship issues which lead to maritime dissatisfaction, and, sometimes, sexual infidelity.
Time after time, so many people have used the adage: "Money is the root of all evil." No one can determine whether or not this is absolutely true, but it's very clear that money is indeed at the root of many troubled marriages. When it comes to finances, couples must be on the same page. Financial infidelity and other financial conflicts can arise when one spouse is a saver and the other is a spender. Inability to get on the same page about your credit and expenses can turn everyday costs into something to fight about. Discuss large purchases with one another, and put aside time regularly to be sure you both communicate clearly and honestly about finances and financially-related topics in your marriage.
Communication, or rather, lack of them, is usually at the soul of troubled relations. Partners may not discuss things that bother them. Others may open up, yet use negative forms of communication that ignite an argument. Some husbands and wives assume their spouses can read their minds and get angry when they're asked what's wrong. Effective communication involves equal parts of speaking and listening in any relationship. Learning to develop a thick skin and the ability to empathize with your husband can also go a long way to saving a troubled marriage as well.
Do not get it twisted. It's great to discuss problems, but it's not enough to fix them. Each issue requires a resolution. This is something that many people, even the best communicators, fail to understand. Relationships require compromise in order for both husband and wife to reach a decision they can both live with. Failure to compromise where needed will further disturb the peace and delay saving your marriage.
Family & Friends
There's a mantra about this subject: "You do not just marry the person, you marry their family." Do not disrespect or control your husband's relationship with his family; instead, form solid relationships with them as well. Try to do the same with his friends, if you can. If you find these things are not possible, is not possible, focus on the most important relationship of all: the one with your spouse.
Our discussion was specific, but it was not all inclusive and extraordinarily comprehensive. Other relationship issues that can affect and destroy marriages certainly do exist, but many are rooted in one of the issues stated above. Work to develop healthy communication about relationship issues, and one day you can be part of the people who can tell others, "I learned how to save my marriage – and it's better than ever."